tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post112017034652031173..comments2023-10-16T05:22:00.853-04:00Comments on Pretty Hard, Dammit: Day 29: The Attack of the 50' AdvisorStewgadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05341545093347318440noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-55299673669906418252009-05-05T11:41:00.000-04:002009-05-05T11:41:00.000-04:00Dear Anon@ 3:50 AM:
Your advisor sucks. He is no...Dear Anon@ 3:50 AM:<br /><br />Your advisor sucks. He is not only failing in his job to support you, he is actively undermining your success. This is completely wrong and horrible, and is most likely not your fault. <br /><br />First, let me sympathize with your plight. I've been through a similar experience with Old Advisor, it was horrible. It made me feel small, stupid, unimportant, and unworthy. And I'm sure that your evil advisor is making you feel this way also. I'm so sorry that you're having this experience. <br /><br />Second, at the risk of offering advice where only sympathy was requested, get a new advisor. Advisors are a dime a dozen, and even if you're working with someone who is doing something slightly different than the project you have conceived of for your dissertation, it is worth it to have a responsive and helpful advisor. It doesn't sound like this advisor is supporting you financially, as well as not supporting you emotionally, so perhaps it is possible for you to make a change now that you're ABD. I'd suggest talking to your graduate faculty representative or to another member of your committee or to a faculty member that you know well and who knows your work. Talk to them about your situation and see what advice they can offer. But ultimately, this is your project and your degree. Don't let anyone get in the way between you and your success. (FYI, switching advisors made all the difference for me, and I defended in February. See my new blog: prettyharddammit.wordpress.com)<br /><br />You sound determined, as well as desperate, which can often be a good combination for getting some changes made. Good luck, and my thoughts are with you. If you want to continue the conversation in a less public, send me an email (stewgad@yahoo.com) and I'd be happy to talk to you about the process. Meanwhile, hang in there and good luck!!Stewgadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05341545093347318440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-8799596493353226892009-05-05T03:55:00.000-04:002009-05-05T03:55:00.000-04:00It is 3:50 am . . . I am 56 year-old-ABD who has f...It is 3:50 am . . . I am 56 year-old-ABD who has finished her proposal and my advisor refuses to move forward on it. I have worked night and day to produce this after he threw out the research I'd done in prep for my candidacy exams. I am running out of money . . . no job, no retirement, no health care (except for the student insurance). I want to get out and try to rebuild my life and he won't help me. I asked for a weekly or bi-weekly meeting and he turned me down. I completed my exams last November and am stuck because he won't move me forward.<br /><br />I have an IRB that will have to be reapplied for if I don't have my committee meeting this term. <br /><br />I don't know if I can take this. This is all I have. My kids are gone, my marriage is over and I am trying to not give up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1171491476755728962007-02-14T17:17:00.000-05:002007-02-14T17:17:00.000-05:00To quote a master - "I don't need time; what I nee...To quote a master - <BR/>"I don't need time; what I need is a deadline." -- Duke EllingtonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1171394534282116902007-02-13T14:22:00.000-05:002007-02-13T14:22:00.000-05:00Soooo funny! Thank god my advisor is usually out o...Soooo funny! Thank god my advisor is usually out of the country - I still find myself terrified I'll run into him though since I never know when he'll swoop into the office. Good luck with the rest of it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120704159171536202005-07-06T22:42:00.000-04:002005-07-06T22:42:00.000-04:00Oh, I *so* avoided my advisor during my Master's T...Oh, I *so* avoided my advisor during my Master's Thesis process. Actually, I think avoiding him was my inspiration to work harder...if I got cornered by him (which I did once in a while), I would have a chapter or something else pleasant to give to him ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120426314812178072005-07-03T17:31:00.000-04:002005-07-03T17:31:00.000-04:00Now I know why (a) I work in My Appartment and (b)...Now I know why (a) I work in My Appartment and (b) my Supervisor is 900 miles away from me.<BR/>No such problems at all!!Wanna Be PhDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16785076048372295763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120419762152873682005-07-03T15:42:00.000-04:002005-07-03T15:42:00.000-04:00A wonderfully funny piece. With just a little mor...A wonderfully funny piece. With just a little more chutzpah, you might even want to consider getting paid for this kind of thing...or turn the blog into a book at some later date.<BR/><BR/>Success, <BR/>WolfspyderAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127539807635970689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120338169664848992005-07-02T17:02:00.000-04:002005-07-02T17:02:00.000-04:00happy birthday. glad you enjoyed breakfast.I didn'...happy birthday. glad you enjoyed breakfast.<BR/>I didn't even realize the benefits of moving out of state after finishing my classes. you're right, my advisor never showed up. I only saw her when I flew in on purpose.timnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01985699859449138316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120288643709704962005-07-02T03:17:00.000-04:002005-07-02T03:17:00.000-04:00Too funny. I'm fortunate to have had advisors tha...Too funny. I'm fortunate to have had advisors that I don't have eto avoid. But there are certainly unnamed folks at my institution that I am using the move out of state technique for!!! In all seriouness though, I'm so glad u were able move on writing and I wish you a very very very blessed birthday.Monhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07298264911822044959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120250948163486542005-07-01T16:49:00.000-04:002005-07-01T16:49:00.000-04:00Congrats on the work done and happy birthday, s!Congrats on the work done and happy birthday, s!lucyrainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18157045295240648152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120230806245349082005-07-01T11:13:00.000-04:002005-07-01T11:13:00.000-04:00Welcome JTN - Thanks for stopping in! And, your a...Welcome JTN - Thanks for stopping in! And, your advisor sounds like a consummate ass. I think avoiding him sounds like the best way to ensure sanity. <BR/><BR/>Really, I am lucky - this is my 2nd advisor, and he is lovely. I'm sure he had no idea that I'm scared of him. It would probably freak him out to know this. He isn't the type of guy to scare anyone. I just scare particularly easily.Stewgadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05341545093347318440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120224889789432152005-07-01T09:34:00.000-04:002005-07-01T09:34:00.000-04:00When I was dodging my thesis advisor (I have an MF...When I was dodging my thesis advisor (I have an MFA, creative writing) I often thought of that episode of Seinfeld where George avoids his girlfriend so she can't break up with him. <BR/><BR/>I managed to dodge him for almost a month, but then a friend casually mentioned she was meeting me for lunch. Yup, he showed up at the restaurant. I also took it as a sign from the fates, and got the thesis to him soon after.Pattyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14798637993694394642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120210074562049922005-07-01T05:27:00.000-04:002005-07-01T05:27:00.000-04:00Thank you for the tips on avoiding one's advisor. ...Thank you for the tips on avoiding one's advisor. I hadn't realised that this skill existed but obviously will have to practice for when the time comes! But don't you feel so proud of yourself having got it all done? Congrats on all that writing, and enjoy your birthday tomorrow, in between all the revising!Helen and Naomihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15522804599329018685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120196201309359962005-07-01T01:36:00.000-04:002005-07-01T01:36:00.000-04:00funny and very true. at least your advisor isn't ...funny and very true. at least your advisor isn't an ass. Mine refuses to email me to check on my progress ("it's a breach of the foodchain") if I'm late, and then I ignored him for several months working on coding and when I contacted him, the response was "huh. I thought you dropped out." maybe that's why I avoid him like a contagious disease.JTNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15432367028941353868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120194334622962082005-07-01T01:05:00.000-04:002005-07-01T01:05:00.000-04:00Damn this is funny. And so true.A good friend in m...Damn this is funny. And so true.<BR/><BR/>A good friend in my program lived in such fear of running into his advisor, after getting WAAAY behind on a chapter, that he just up and relocated to the Divinity School (about three miles away from the main campus)--having all his books paged from the main library and held at the div school.La Lecturesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09892747650463978861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-1120174485883388502005-06-30T19:34:00.000-04:002005-06-30T19:34:00.000-04:00Beats flying monkeys! (Barely)Beats flying monkeys! (Barely)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com