tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post7585261958599307894..comments2023-10-16T05:22:00.853-04:00Comments on Pretty Hard, Dammit: Throwing Out the Relationship with the BathwaterStewgadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05341545093347318440noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-41160357407473608062007-12-13T09:58:00.000-05:002007-12-13T09:58:00.000-05:00Thanks to everyone for your kind comments -- thing...Thanks to everyone for your kind comments -- things are better and have been since the fight. I guess we just needed to clear the air. Or the bathwater, whichever the case may be.<BR/><BR/>Nikki -- thanks for the heads up! How truly annoying. I couldn't find the post, though. The link you gave me didn't work. If you get a second, could you track it down for me? I found a different site doing the same thing -- Spousal Unit called it Blogairism, which I thought was pretty funny.Stewgadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05341545093347318440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-84093059640088547232007-12-12T17:25:00.000-05:002007-12-12T17:25:00.000-05:00I just wanted to let you know that I read this pos...I just wanted to let you know that I read this post on another site child-care.cominfohelpportal.com (you have to go through a couple of pages). The reason I am contacting you is because they also did this to me. I was able to get my post removed. It also means your blog was scraped (a portion was copied and posted somewhere else and then linked back to you with no attribution to you as the author). I don't know if you care about this or not but it looks like the entire site is a scraper site.Nikkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15057423466090138197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-59797169707769556932007-12-08T08:31:00.000-05:002007-12-08T08:31:00.000-05:00My DH and I, before we were married, had a HUGE fi...My DH and I, before we were married, had a HUGE fight one morning over, I shit you not, how many pairs of shoes it was appropriate for me to have tucked under my dresser. He said two. I said however many I goddamn well felt like having under there as long as they weren't in his way. We both went to work and I spent part of the day looking at apartment ads on the bulletin boards on campus.<BR/><BR/>But now here we are. 595 days of marriage (he's the one who counts it up periodically, we were just talking yesterday about what we should do for our 600 diaversary) and it gets better every day. Well, almost every day. This is the second marriage for both of us and we're both doing a *much* better job than the first time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-56883606372807027702007-12-06T19:01:00.000-05:002007-12-06T19:01:00.000-05:00Everyone else already said many of the things that...Everyone else already said many of the things that I would say, so can I point out instead that even in the midst of this middle-of-the-night ranting sad post, you turned the whole thing around in the end and reinvented the meaning of your blog title? I mean, that's pretty good writing, dammit.Scrivenerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05922358016805022637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-15334441629365277892007-12-06T12:14:00.000-05:002007-12-06T12:14:00.000-05:00Oh man. I had exactly the same realization about ...Oh man. I had exactly the same realization about Munchkin and Pynchon re, who will tell me jokes in the nursing home. It's Pynchon. Our love and our strength is what got me through The Awful First Months. And yet? This morning we had a fight about who is supposed to empty the dishwasher and who was supposed to launder the poopy snowsuit (don't ask). And yet? My love for Munchkin is simpler and more satisfying right now: it's easy to love a toddler -- they're not complex and flawed.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10812707312289852258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-31105894318420474332007-12-05T15:29:00.000-05:002007-12-05T15:29:00.000-05:00Holy Shit. Yes, yes, yes. I was married for 9 year...Holy Shit. Yes, yes, yes. I was married for 9 years to dh before #1 (and we dated for YEARS before that), and I can say with no uncertainty that in the last 20 years of being with him, the 4 months after my dd's birth was the low point of our marriage. We describe it as that period when we both became "grabby and mean." When neither of your needs are being met and both of you are exhausted and one of you is hormonal and one of you feels a little jealous -- kersplosion. I remember dh went for a run on father's day, 4 weeks after dd was born, and I resented that 35 minutes so deeply. I was bitter. He had time for himself while I suffered. "How was your run?" I nearly spat at him -- and on father's day. So, Stewwy, no worries, just try to keep talking and try to take turns getting what you need (at least a little of it), and tell him the next time he mentions the bathroom, you're going to put a leech on his penis 4-6 times a day for a week and see how he likes it.momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06316141382554615304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-81521196414830636082007-12-05T12:28:00.000-05:002007-12-05T12:28:00.000-05:00Love you both! Courageous post!Love you both! Courageous post!sparkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15419915377375478778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-47302332638718602972007-12-05T10:19:00.000-05:002007-12-05T10:19:00.000-05:00This is a beautiful post and I love reading your b...This is a beautiful post and I love reading your blog. I don't have children, so I don't really know what this is like, but I think putting energy into your relationship is important. Especially if you want to model what good relationships are like for the Gadlet. Of course, you can only give so much of yourself! <BR/><BR/>It must be terrifying, having to stretch yourself between two people you love so much. I think you're brave and very emotionally intelligent and that those things will make you a successful mother and partner.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for such a wonderful blog!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01477707480338232435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13280638.post-88684256864112874522007-12-05T09:24:00.000-05:002007-12-05T09:24:00.000-05:00Wow, very insightful post! Thank you. It's got m...Wow, very insightful post! Thank you. It's got me thinking about where I'm putting my relationship energy and whether I want to put it in different places voluntarily or keep it all for myself :)Mischahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04937427423214651664noreply@blogger.com