This morning, I've discovered something critically important about myself.
I think I hate gardening.
This revelation has been a long time coming, and it goes against pretty much everything I've always wanted to think about myself. I always hoped I'd be one of those people who could magically nurture budding little bits of natural beauty out of the earth, turning mud into magic. When I was young I had a vision of myself as a grownup serenely digging away in my yard that was interesting because it was filled with lovely flowers and welcoming because there were so many things growing there.
Well, now I'm a grownup (sort of) and I have a yard and there are many things growing there. They're called weeds. And today as I went out to do a little bit of work I found myself getting angrier and angrier and angrier. I was clenching my jaw, grinding my teeth, and cursing like a drunken pissed-off sailor. I became absolutely furious that these weeds had the audacity to take over my yard, choking out the perennials that the previous owner (who was CLEARLY a gardening guru. I hate her.) had left behind. It was so chaotic, so disorderly, so out of control - these weeds are EVERYWHERE and they were not giving up their hold on life easily. I was getting so mad, I swear, I almost gave myself a stroke. So, I threw down my shears, cursed a bit more at the bindweed that is choking my hostas and rose bushes, hoping that my articulate and clearly shouted verbal hex would work like an herbicide, and I went inside. Fifteen minutes had passed.
Now, even I think this sounds a little bit crazy. Who gets pissed at weeds? Am I really mad at the weeds, or frustrated by the feeling that a lot of things in my life seem out of control right now? Somebody (and I can't remember who - sorry guys) was recently blogging about transference -- they were worried or angry about something huge and so focused it on something trivial, over which they had complete control. I think that something may be going on here, but I can't for the life of me figure out what I'm really mad at. It does seem a bit irrational to be so frustrated about mere weeds. And, clearly, I don't have much control over them. I dunno. Any suggestions on what Stewgad is transferring would, of course, be welcome. But, for the rest of the day, I'm going have to conclude that gardening is just not my bag, baby.
- At 1:45 PM Overread said...
I think you may be ignoring the possibility that the weeds are evil and deserve your ire. Most of the weeds I've met are nasty twisted creatures...
- At 1:17 AM Frank said...
My own feeling about gardening is that it's for other, crazy people to do. If getting your hands dirty and raking and all that's your thing, god love ya! Me, I'll be in my climate-controlled house on the Internet looking at blogs!
- At 5:52 PM HistGrad said...
I have another friend who was "cursed" with an amazing garden installed by the previous owner. She got so frustrated I'm sure she contemplated paving it over. I'm glad that our previous owners seem to be on the same wavelength as we are. A few nice perennials come up at appropriate intervals and if I mulch around them with nice bark chips, very little weeding. And I try to stay away from Fancy Garden Store, even if it is attached to Fabulous French Bakery, because I know that I am not a gardener and to aspire otherwise is surely to invite failure. We should both stick to cooking! :)
- At 7:19 PM Stewgad said...
Today, I've just decided that when I look at the garden, I will see what I want to see, not the overgrown evil tangle that some sick people enjoy tackling. I'm heavy into the power of denial.
And besides, they'll all die off in a few months anyway, and I'll be here to watch it happen. Mwa ha ha!