Found Funnies

I am in my office today for the last time (before the Gadlet makes its grand entrance) cleaning things out and organizing so that another faculty member can use the space while I'm gone, and I found these great sentences from student papers that I had recorded to share. Something to chuckle over as you all contemplate going back to teaching in the fall...

"Throughout the course of the semester, we have discovered themes in our studies of the history of America."
Yes, indeed.

"The Articles of Confederation is known as the first American government but it was recognized for having little authority."

"Many servants were treated poorly, some were even beat up and denied proper nutrients."
Yes, the beatings were bad but when they took away my Flintstone chewables things got really grim.

"Elizabeth Cady Stanton was one of the foremost advocates of the women's suffrage movement. Her veracity in the pursuit of women's rights was unparalled"
True, true.

"Conflict, while horrific and grotesque, often was thought of as a progressive action and the source of incredulous change."
Who could believe it?

"If anything can stop the progress of freedom it is having slavery."

"The laceration of innocent people who had no way to defend themselves is just despicable."

"Women were forced to work in the man house and were forced to abide by his painful orders."

"Some slaves would die on the way over. After they got off the ship they would be brought to makret where they would be inspected by future masters."
My personal favorite -- the return of the zombie slaves.


At 9:40 PM Nik said...

The sentences themselves are gold, but the commentary shines those ingots up nicely (hoping to mix my metaphors here...).

At 4:15 PM Zelda said...

those are hilarious - thanks for sharing!

At 11:12 AM Lex said...

Hey stewgad, have stumbled on your blog as part of a Google search, but I wanted you to know this is a frigging lifesaver. I'm a writer, finishing a book for a publisher, and I'm sitting at home with the most incredibly bad morning sickness. I've never been pregnant before and it's killing me. I've trawled right through your archives and now I'm smiling at your writing, when I'm not hurling. Thanks for cheering me up. It's nice to know my brain will still function after my stomach stops heaving.

At 3:25 PM Stewgad said...

Hi Lex - Welcome! Thanks for stopping in. I'm so glad to have passed on a smile to a fellow barfer! I remember in the P-Z days (pre-Zofran) how rare those were. Hang in there and if it doesn't get better, demand that they give you something -- especially if you've got a LIFE and have other things to do than lie around and try to hold it all together. (I've SO been there!!)

Hope to hear from you again!

At 12:38 PM Anonymous said...

My favourite ever: "women were imperative in early Irish society, not only for mating purposes". No shit.
I've never commented before, but you are my hero, and if you don't mind, I will link some of your entries to the postgrad societies homepage. I f you do mind, e-mail me, I am at NUIG in Ireland, Irish dept. and easily googelable
Love Kicki Ing.

At 9:55 AM Stewgad said...

Wow, thanks Kicki- I don't think I've ever been a hero before! Link away!

(Mating purposes -- HA!)


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